


All of the stars

by Jamie_Fenyx



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Death!, F/M, Fluff and Angst, More Death, Passengers inspired AU, RivaillexMikasa, Space!, Tea, levixmikasa, rivamika
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 18:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11742684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamie_Fenyx/pseuds/Jamie_Fenyx
Summary: Passengers inspired AU rivamika fic!Mikasa and Armin are astronauts on their one-way mission to humanity's possible new home, Zoe194, while their best friend and brother Eren rots in his hospital bed, from cancer, loneliness and the longing for the stars he is never going to reach in this body.Trying to escape the thought of losing him, Mikasa almost throws herself into distraction, searching for something she can hold onto-and falls into someone else's arms.





	1. Part one

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first english work and i'd be happy about any comments to give me tips or review it!

I've done this before", Mikasa murmured, taking deep breaths-in through the nose, out through her lips. She had been weighing herself back and forth on her footpads without noticing and immediately stopped as she noticed the clear sign of her nervousness and crossed her arms in front of her chest, as if this gesture was giving her a barrier she could hold on to.

Yes, this was not Mikasas first time in a space suit. The musty air inside her helmet, that seemed to be built from ninety percent glass, the smooth and somewhat strange feeling while moving in this thick second skin or the way her feet touched the ground through tons of layers of fabric were things she got used to during tests, training and simulations. 

But actually doing this was special. The fact, that those thousands of stars at the horizon and the other glowing planets that always seemed so distant from down on earth, were going to be real this time, thrilled and amazed the young woman both ways. 

As realistic as any simulator could get-there was nothing like an original. At least, the astronaut thought so. It would be a pity, if it was just as normal as an illuminated screen, as normal as looking at the sky through a window or telescope.

But it wouldn't be, she believed that. Otherwise she would not be reacting that way, though she could not tell whether it were signs of excitement or fear she was showing.

"Are you alright? Ackerman?". Squad leader Erwin's voice came through a small, almost invisible box in her helmet that was combined with a microphone as well. He was sitting in his office now, probably drinking some of the horrible coffee they served at the communication headquarters, looking at her trying to calm down.

She should have remembered that she was being watched and listened to almost everywhere during her job. 

Whatever.

"Everything okay", she replied. "Armin says the same. He is checking on your suit's system right now but it doesn't seem like anything should endanger you".  
Mikasa nodded. "Alright, then".

"Not that you would have ever been in danger on one of your expeditions before", the squad leader added, not changing his calm tone.

Thankful that Erwin was not trying to encourage her to just do it and finally make her dreams come true as probably someone else would have done, Mikasa turned away from the security door she had just passed and been staring at while waiting for the permission to start her very first spacewalk.

She stood at the entrance of a long, narrow tunnel that ended in another thick metal door. A familiar place she had already visited countless times during preparation and safety training. Still, this time was different. Even the air in the helmet seemed a little less bearable than in the simulations.

The simulation.

Mikasa had always been good at anything, if she really wanted to. No matter what she tried, she ended up leaving as a pro and the apprenticeship at the National Space Agency of Paradis was nothing unusual-she finished the tests as well as the theoretical finals as top student of the year.  
The new question was: was she good at floating through actual... space? Or would she just start vomiting or faint as other people did during training?

But... no.

There was no big difference between doing something at that or another place, was there? Yeah, it should not be. Still, for a moment, Mikasa felt shook. As if her self-esteem disappeared and left nothing but a hole in her stomach.

She shook her head at her own fear.

It was bullshit to think she was going to fail her first expedition because of something like this. She was Mikasa Ackerman. Nothing would stop her.

"We are ready to let you out now. But you have to open the door yourself", Erwin commanded. This was new. "There is a big green button to your left, two meters in front of the exit. Just press it whenever you're ready. It is a new safety feature that has been added after an accident four years ago".  
Mikasa looked across the warmly lit corridor. In fact, there was a big green button, flashing slowly but garishly.  
"Roger, Sir". 

Mikasa started using the control-board on her left arm. It was build like a small computer with a touchscreen, recessed in the fabric of her suit.

By giving the right commands she had been studying during the last few years, the electrical magnets inside her boots activated, connecting her to the ground. They were going to keep her in place when the doors opened.

Moving with the magnets activated had been part of her lessons. She was almost moving as fast as she would have been able to without her suit and after a few big steps, she reached the green button.

"Alright. I'm ready". "Take care, Ackermann". "I will", she promised.

The scout reached out for the green blink and pressed it.

Setting off a warning light, the door, only a few steps in front of her, started moving inwards.  
Slowly, Mikasa could see more and more of the outside-of the nearly endless darkness she always wished so badly to reach for ever since she was a kid. 

Even before the door was fully opened, she suddenly remembered sitting on a meadow with Armin and Eren at night-the full moon shining right on their faces. They had been counting stars for hours, before Armins grandfather or Carla caught them.

They always found more stars every night.

"Ackermann. Go". Erwin's voice brought Mikasa back to reality and she realized that the door was now fully opened. 

Gosh, i need to keep myself together. And awake.

From behind, a thick cable connected to her back with a click sound and she stepped over the doorframe.

The exit closed, leaving a hole for the safety-rope while Mikasa stepped forward onto the moving outside wing of the Phoenix.

The giant rotating wings that were moving around the middle part on giant rails caused gravity on the inside of the ship.  
Mikasa was now standing at the root of one of them, not knowing where up and down were anymore, rotating together with the wing, around and around, as the ship drifted further and further into darkness.

Above her head, actually everywhere she looked, a giant blackness covered the horizon, covered in light spots, some of which where bigger or seemed closer to her than others.

"Ackermann? Is everything fine with the equipment? How do you feel". "Everything according to plan, sir. I'm as okay as it gets", Mikasa replied.  
"Good. Move around. The rope only allows you to move in a bordered area, but this should be enough for the first time. Walk a little bit and also try moving without the magnets".  
"Roger".

Once more using her control board, Mikasa deactivated her boots and lifted her feet off the ground.

Only held by the line now, she floated upwards-wherever that was-and lost track of everything.  
The amazing view was already somewhat familiar from the planetarium and the observation deck-but actually being here, floating in the middle of nowhere was beautiful and thrilling at the same time. 

It felt like a dream.

Mikasa heard her heartbeat strike louder and louder.

"Amazing, isn't it?". Now it was Armin on the mic. "I'm already looking forward to working with you. Mikasa?".  
"Of course. I just... Eren should be with us". Her best friend sighed, responding with: "I know, believe me. But he also wants us to be happy and stop feeling bad for him. Concentrate on your work". The young woman nodded. "I will. Just... sorry to always bother you with this".  
"I miss him as much as you do. You're not bothering anyone!", Armin tried to brighten the mood.  
Suddenly, Erwin was back on the line. 

"Sorry to interrupt you guys but Mikasa should try if she can move through the vacuum on herself. She need to gave control over her movements at all times out here". "On my way. Sorry, sir".

The black haired girl tried a few simple movements like pretending to swim through the emptiness to move or float forward and backwards until her coach and Armin were satisfied.

"We're done for today, Mikasa". 

"I can come back inside whenever you need me to", she said, hoping she would be allowed to stay just a minute longer. It really was as amazing as she had imagined it out here-even better.  
"O, it's all right. Stay as long as you want. I'll leave Arlert connected to you, just in case you need help or anything. But please be back on time". A smile appeared on her face as she answered: "Understood!". "See you in the cafeteria".

She couldn't hear her squad leader's footsteps in the lab he and Armin were sitting in and watching over her on a screen, but a few seconds later, she was sure he was gone.

"Come out with me, Armin", Mikasa said. "It's beautiful".  
"I'd love to... but i have orders, as you heard. Sorry. We can go to the observatory later".  
Of course. Why had she been asking him in the first place.

"Look Armin!". Mikasa did a few saltos over her cable and her friend laughed at how childish the thoughtful, quiet Mikasa could behave when they were alone.

Later, she actiated the magnets again.

She took her time to just sit on the metal wing and stare at the sky, maybe even forgetting about Armin who was still watching her.

After a few minutes, she got up and turned to a camera she supposed was on.

"Okay, i think i'm coming back inside". "Use the green button-thingy at the left side of the door frame".  
" 'kay".

She did as he said and entered the tunnel once more, this time getting back into the changing room.

When she pulled off her helmet later on, everything she had seen out there suddenly seemed surreal and dream-like.

\---

"It was amazing! It was as if... I don't know". Mikasa stopped, seeking for the right words to describe the feeling of leaving the Phoenix for the first time.  
"I think i understand", a sudden reply came from her screen. Eren smiled at his adopted sister. "It's the same thing i imagine when i look at the stars and think of you guys. I'm so happy you finally got these jobs you worked so hard for", he said and Mikasa knew he meant it.

After all, he loved them both, Armin and her, and stood strong back on earth while they were travelling to Zoe194, a small planet that once every one hundred years travelled far enough into earths reach to be visited by a ship.  
The planet had an atmosphere similar to earths and the Phoenix and her team were preparing to do researches, document life and explore possible places to build villages or even cities on the planet's surface.  
The Phoenix was travelling with Speed of Light and was not going to return back home in this cycle of Zoe194, which meant there was no going back for her.

Getting on board of this ship was more than just a lifetime-dream. It was something to dedicate one's life to. After all, the journey took four years, even with this unbelievable amount of speed.

"It would be cool if i could be with you guys now". Eren touched the cables ending in an injection in his arm, feeling the biological anchors tying him down to earth since he was fifteen.

"I wish so, too". She let out a sigh. "But always remember that our food is awfull. Like... everything doesn't really taste good because we're in space. Everything in space tastes like dried out bread that has been laying in water for a few hours". Her brother laughed.  
"Anyways. How are things going back home?".

"A few actors have been caught selling marijuana, the singer of an  
emo-band is dead, France just voted for a new president...".  
Mikasa interrupted him.

"No, i meant-what about you?".

Eren looked at her as if she was joking about a really sensitive topic.  
He didn't like being reminded that he did nothing but laying in bed all day, even if Mikasa did not mean to hurt him.  
"Well... i got a new injection this morning... a bird flew against my window... and i watched "Germany's next top model"."  
"To improve your german, i suppose?", she giggled at the thought of Eren laying in his bed and watching stupid young girls in dresses trying to smile so hard that they failed. And all that in german.

"There is only one channel on this old TV they gave me. And our parents didn't visit today, so i had a lot of time to kill".  
"Unlike you guys", Mikasa finished the sentence with what she thought he would say if he were in a worse mood.

"I'll send them a message that you need company if there is no other way to entertain you", the black haired girl made a suggestion, while her tone showed that she wasn't to serious about it.

"Oi, Mikasa! I can look after myself alone, okay?", he said, knowing that she wouldn't just call Grisha and Carla and tell them to baby-sit Eren. Mikasa knew how much he hated that, after all.

They laughed a little bit more about this or that before Mikasa had to get ready for dinner.

"I guess we won't see each other any more. Really soon", Eren said, when he looked at the digital clock on his sister's wall.  
"When we are out of reach to send messages to earth... we might not be able to stay in contact, yes", the astronaut nodded.  
"But that's not today. Let's just chill out. I need to go for dinner".  
"Okay. Let's talk tomorrow... i'm not going anywhere".

"Love ya".

\---

The cafeteria was far too big for a crew of just fourteen people. A hundred silver-shining tables with similar chairs stood in a circle around a dispenser inside a clean room with big windows that let in starshine.

One had to take a plate, place it inside the dispenser and scan the chip inside their leather bracelets to get a meal.

Today, there were spaghetti.  
Mikasa probably did exaggerate it a bit when she said that nothing tasted good on the ship-actually, tonight's menu wasn't too bad.

She grabbed a cup of water and took a seat next to Armin and Sasha, a brown haired girl that stayed in the suite next to her.

"How was your test run?", she asked Sasha who just finished her portion. If Mikasa could tell one thing about her, it was that Sasha ate... a lot. Very fast. Still she was well shaped from the sport, specifically archery, she played every day. There was a gym on the entertainment deck where archery was also available-just like almost everything. This ship was build to be luxury herself.

"It was fine! What a pity that we aren't there yet. On Zoe, i mean. I bet it's even cooler down there", the brunette responded, laying her fork on the blank plate. "I am more than excited to arrive there. And it's still such a long way...".

"Hm. We will have to get used to all the sunlight again", Armin laughed.  
"But yeah... it will be the coolest thing ever!".

For a moment, his eyes flashed in excitement-almost like a little kid's-before he came back to the mask all of them wore all day. Scientist's faces.

Mikasa tried her spaghetti. The sauce was more of a soup than a sauce but she got used to the stuff served here, so it didn't bother her.

She even felt a little bit reminded of the pasta Carla always made, for example on a birthday or party, which she always loved.

"We should get some sleep if we want to make it out of bed tomorrow!", Armin suddenly said, eyes widened, in surprise this time. His daily planner-consisting of a small, handy screen with an  
, showing him his duties and free time periods. The next day, breakfast was at four o'clock, with an alarm set for half an hour earlier.

With a look at her clock, her friend's fear was understandable: it was 10 pm. 

"Is it going to be a meeting? Maybe you have a test run tomorrow morning or something like that".

"Nope. You are coming with me", the blue eyed said with a closer look at the table on his screen.  
"What for?".  
Armin looked at the glowing letters once more. "Introducing squad members + practice outside". He smiled. "They are preparing the scouting squads for Zoe! We will work together!".

Mikasa was just as happy as him-instead of Armin, there would have only been Sasha as a person she could more or less bear as someone to see 18/7 and work or share a room with on their final destination.

"Who else is coming?", she asked, activating her own planner to search for a member list.

"Sasha..". Hell yeah. "Jean". Hmhm. "Aaaaand.... wait... who the hell is that guy?".

Mikasa leaned over Armin's shoulder to take a look at the last name. Her own planner was running low on battery, so she packed it away.

"Levi? No, i don't know him. He is like... almost fifteen years older than us. There's not mich to talk about with such people".

A sarcastic-smirk appeared on her friend's face. "Well how do you know that if you never talked to him?".

"His files. We can look at each other's files with the planners and see some basic info of each other".  
"I know, i was joking". "Good".

To be exact, Levi was 40, Mikasa 22 years old.

They ate up, left shorly after Sasha and went to bed early.

There was not going to be time for a shower in the morning if the alarm was only set half an hour earlier than the meeting, so Mikasa went straight to the bathroom and showered, against her habits, in the evening this time. 

When she climbed under the cool sheets, she suddenly thought of that Levi-guy once more. Was he looking at her files right now? Or Armin's? Maybe Sasha's, and wondering what kinds of people they were?

Whatever. 

The main plan was to work together. Nothing else was really important, was it?

\---


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning, Mikasa wakes up to a stressed Sasha, telling her that they will be late on her first meeting with her new squad leader...

Mikasa had a dream. She was not a big dreamer, usually she did not dream anything or could not remember what she saw after waking up, but this time she could.

In the dream, she was walking on a string, strangely similar to the safety cable she had used the noon before, above a deep, deep darkness that seemed to have no ground and surrounded her in every direction. The both ends of the string were invisible-the metal seemed to end in the emptiness in front and behind her.

When she looked down, she wondered why she had not stumbled and fallen down yet, also due to the loud and visibly strong wind all around her, but she was doing great, only wearing a white, long night gown, her small naked feet crossing the steel with a determination that impressed her in a way she had not expected.

The nightgown she was wearing felt so familiar. The fabric dancing around her bare legs was warming in the dark as she slowly sat one foot in front of the other.

It was the piece her mother gave her once. Mikasa remembered that she had been sewing it for many evenings, evenings in front of a fire place, when her father was drinking beer at the table and Mikasa taught herself to read in a cozy chair in the corner.

Happy evenings that seemed so distant now. Mikasa could not even remember how her parent's faces looked once, during these perfect times.

Right now, she was doing quite well in moving forward on the cable and almost found it fun to be in an unusual place like that, until she noticed that someone was coming her way. A face appeared a few meters in front of her, revealing a boy with brown hair, green eyes and a darker shade of skin tone than hers.

A smile appeared on Eren's face when he recognized her.

"Hi, Mikasa, what are you doing here?", he asked, walking a little bit faster than her.

Yes, what was she doing here? Now that she thought about it, there surely was a place on the other end of the cable. There had to be a reason why she was heading there, so she decided to keep going in that direction.

She did not know. Or had she known once and just could not remember it anymore?

"Come with me! My mom made pancakes for us!", the boy said, giving her one of his hands. She took it hesitantly but then she decided to trust him.

He is my brother, she thought. Why would i not trust him? He is always so kind and..

"Just go in the other direction!", he advised. Mikasa had already stopped walking and was now standing in the middle of nowhere, only darkness all around-and Eren, of course, giving her a kind smile.

"Come on, let's go home". The warmth of his voice made the loud wind entirely disappear. And yes, she wanted to come with him. Wanted to enjoy the silence of being around him and not be so lonely in the black.

But she could not do it. There was a goal she had to reach for and it was on the opposite end of the rope. Now, Mikasa was pretty sure there was a purpose for her in being here. There was a way she had to follow. And it clearly was not Eren's.

Eren was now wondering, why she still didn't move. "We have to go if we don't want the food to get cold".

He wanted to assist her in turning around, but instead, Mikasa let go of his fingers.

"I'm sorry, Eren", she said. "I have to go my way first. Maybe you want to come with me?".

"I..". It was as if a lightning had just stroke in between the two children when Mikasa spoke the last words.

"Um... hello?".

The smile on the boy's face suddenly started breaking. As if he was a sketch and someone had pulled a rubber over his mouth, it disappeared, leaving a white blank space.

"Eren? What's going on?".

The emptiness started to spread over his whole body, slowly in the beginning, then faster and faster. His eyes, nose, hair and ears started to disappear, his clothes faded away along with every other detail of his body, until he was nothing more than a clump of clay, formed to a weird, blurry outline of a humanoid figure.

"What...?! Eren?!", Mikasa screamed at this horrible sight.

There was nothing left of him. Just this thing.

But, no.. this was not Eren. It could not be. Eren was not just some fake figure. He was fine, somewhere else, it suddenly crossed the girl's mind.

She could move on without worrying. No one needed to care about something like this.

There was no reason to mind ignoring this faked clay model of her best friend-because... well, she was sure that the real one would not care about a bad copy of himself either.

The girl started to slowly climb around the thing, that, against all rules of physics, still stood straight up on the line, the strong wind not seeming to bother it's balance one bit.

Mikasa managed to get the first and second foot behind the obstacle and was already beginning to continue her journey on the cable, when something-a hand-grabbed her hair and pulled her back.

A scream escaped her small mouth, when she felt cold, slimy fingers grab her wrist and holding her with a yet unknown strength. Mikasa could not move, not run away-she was trapped.

When she looked over her shoulder, a horrible sight started burning itself under her eyelids.

The clay figure was moving and talking, or rather begging and weeping, with Eren's voice.

"Nooooo, please don't go, pleeaaaaaassseeee!!!", it yelled, spitting brown dirt from it's toothless mouth. Some hit Mikasa's nightgown and face, somehow causing a panic to climb up her chest and wake her up from the inner calmness she had kept up since she appeared on this steel rope.

"Let go of me!", she shouted in response to the attack and kicked the wobbly knees of the creep, causing it to screatch out a sound that sent shivers down her spine.

"Please, don't leave me alone like that!! Pleeeeeeaaaaase!!". The fear in these words made her heart break a thousand times, while at the same time, the present madness hidden behind them told her instincts to get the attacker away from her as fast as possible.

She bit the arm holding her wrist, the thing let go of her and she dived away from it's muddy claws, when they started reaching out for her again.

Mikasa jumped a few steps away from the beast, turned around and faced it, willing to get away no matter what it would try next.

It let out another flow of words, along with a lot of mud.

"Stay. DON'T LEAVE ME!", it begged.

"Leave me alone you freak!", Mikasa answered, not softening up one bit at this pitiful creature.

In a final try of keeping her with it, the creature suddenly jumped at her.

It lifted itself up from the cable and flew directly at her face, it's thin arms trying to grab her.

The black haired girl was speechless and unable to move until the mud-thing was almost directly in front of her, it's long fingers only a few centimeters away from her face.

Then, finally, she started to move, placed both hands on the narrow shoulders of the monster and pushed it away with all her strength. It widened the holes on it's ugly face, that seemed to resemble the eyes, as it fell, fell, fell down into the darkness.

 

\---

 

"Mikasa! Dammit, Mikasa, wake up!". Sasha's voice seemed so distant. Like an echoe of something familiar she could not remember clearly anymore that floated through her thoughts while she tried to remember details of the memory.

"Mikasa! Please!"

This time, the words were louder and followed by hands on her shoulders, shaking her.

With a loud gasp, Mikasa sat up and opened her eyes.

She was still in bed, her hair messy as well as the blanket she had pushed halfway out of the bed. Sasha was sitting next to her, still holding her upper arms and already dressed in a blue overall with the Phoenix' logo over her heart: a glowing ocean with a rising sun and a big, white bird floating above the scenery.

"We're late! I brought you a piece of toast and, er.. i think it's cheese, from the buffet. You missed breakfast. We're late, like SO late..".

It took Mikasa a few seconds before the stars in front of her eyes stopped dancing. Then, the meaning of Sasha's words got through to her.

"What the hell are you...SHIT".

The astronaut jumped from the matress as her friend was already throwing clothes at her face she probably got from the cupboard next to the bed that stood wide open.

As there was no time for complaining about other people touching her stuff, Mikasa just grabbed the underwear, purple polo shirt and jeans Sasha had thrown at her and rushed to the bathroom to get changed.

It took her two minutes, two minutes that seemed like hours, to rushingly wash her face, use the toilet and get dressed as fast as possible.

Thanking the gods for a friend like Sasha, she nearly jumped out of the bathroom and saw her neighbor still waiting for her on the bed.

"You didn't have to wait for me", the black haired woman thanked her.

"Come on, we can still make it!".

Mikasa folded the cheese toast into a small package she somehow stuffed into her mouth in one piece and they left, running down the corridor in the direction of the communication headquarters.

"Thank you for helping me!", Mikasa said after she swallowed her small breakfast. "Don't choke!", Sasha warned her.

Sasha really was the best friend one could get when it came to relying on one another.

After a while of sprinting through the right wing of the main deck, they finally reached the elevator.

It was a big one, with leather seats and security belts attached to them, because the wagon was moving through the rotating wings of The Phoenix, were there was no gravity. If there were no belts, the passengers would start floating around.

The astronauts sat down as the doors closed behind them and Mikasa fastened her belt, followed by Sasha who was not as fast as her. A cold feminine voice coming from speakers above their heads asked: "How can i help you?".

"Bring us to the CHQ", Sasha ordered the elevator and they started moving. As they felt the wagon getting faster, both women started calming down a little bit.

"Good morning", Mikasa laughed, still nervous about being late. "Again, thanks for waking me up. I don't know if i would have made it without you".

"O, it's really nothing to thank me for. Actually, Armin reminded me that you were still asleep. He didn't want to break into your room, though, because-". Sasha hesitated. "I guess he didn't want to come off as a peeper or something like that".

"You... broke into my room?". "Well, no. You never actually lock your door. I just came in". 

Relieved that she would not have to pay anyone to fix her door, Mikasa suddenly started lifting up from the bench she was sitting on. The gravity dropped as the elevator moved upwards the rotating wing. 

Sasha's pony tail started floating above her head and she felt her own hair flying around as well.

"I see. I should keep that habit up, then".

Sasha laughed.

 

\---

 

"The purpose of this meeting is...Braus, Ackerman, there you are".

A stranger's voice greeted the two women as they opened the door to the meeting room.

It came from a black haired man with an undercut who stood in front of Jean and Armin-she would have to thank him later, for saving her. The two had pulled metal chairs from the tables in the room to have a better look at the surprisingly short guy who seemed to be briefing them on something. Erwin was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm Levi and your new squadleader", he said with a surprisingly soft but still somehow distanced and cool voice. To be exact, he almost sounded bored.

Mikasa had no idea what to think of him. The only thing she knew was that he was not sympathetic at all. And also, his face seemed somewhat familiar, now that she saw it for real.

Whatever. They would only have to get along, nothing else.

"Sasha Braus, Sir", Sasha greeted back.

Mikasa entered the meeting room behind her. It was similar to a school class, with a few tables and a whiteboard next to the entrance.

When she walked over to the others, Levi's light grey gaze met her eyes.

"Mikasa Ackerman, Sir".

She gave him a quick nod.

His eyes were stinging like ice. How poetic.

And then she remembered it: she had already seen him a few times in the cafeteria, sitting in a small group with Erwin and two other older astronauts. At the beginning of the journey, they had only briefly introduced themselves over a voice chat, which was why she never really felt the need to look their files up. It had been more of a coincidence that she looked into Levi's.

"Please sit down, shut up and just listen, if you already had to arrive late". His facial expression had not changed at all since they arrived at the meeting. He was hard to read.

Also, he had a loud voice for someone of his height. The captain was maybe 160 Centimeters tall, but nothing above that. Also, he did not seem as if he was commanding people around for the first time.

Levi had been working longer than them, of course he had already worked with other people before, Mikasa reminded herself. 

"I expect that you arrive on time, tomorrow. We are not in the NSAP anymore. This is serious work right here", he ordered them and both apologized, though Mikasa sounded a little less nervous.

"As he has his own, Erwin gave me the responsibility over this squad. I will be watching over our training and of course the expeditions on Zoe194. Today, we will have emergency training. In half an hour, together with Hanji's, and Mike's squad, to be exact. Any questions so far?".

Mikasa could tell that Sasha was intimidated by her new supervisor. It was not hard to impress her, and so did Levi. Though it was unusual how calm the brunette had suddenly become.

"Good. I will explain how everything works, then. I think it should be clear that we have to stay together and be able to rely on each other at all times during practice and on our destination".

Ofcourse they had to. They had been training together for years and were not unfamiliar with teamwork. Mikasa had the impression that Levi underestimated them.

"This is the usual plan we'd have to follow". Levi pointed at a sign hanging next to the door that showed the usual evacuation orders. "But you guys have been studying it a bazillion times already, so we will be following an alternative", he said and started turning the whiteboard on. When he projected the new plan, he took a thin piece of bamboo to point at the several parts of the Ship map without having to move the board around every few seconds. 

Amused about her Captains way to make the best out of his short stature, Mikasa leaned back and prepared for a longer instruction.

"In case the wings are damaged and the gravity falls out, this ship has a few robots that will restore the system on their own in a matter of a few minutes to an hour. If the accident is bigger than just a coincidental crash with an asteroid... like the crash with a very big asteroid, we will have to take care of it on our own. Today, we will be training that. We can't cause any serious trouble on the ship just for safety instructions, which is why we are going to use the...".   
Simulators.   
"...simulators. Now, i will give you a short explanation on the plan we have to follow. As you are already familiar with...".

He actually did not seem too bad as a teacher. And somehow, Mikasa was even looking forward to see how good he used the suits and simulation.

After fifteen minutes of explanations and questions, the new Levi Squad moved out and walked down the hallway to the simulators.

While Levi was walking at the front, Mikasa fell back, behind Armin and Sasha, next to Jean.

When they were already halfway there, he suddenly whispered: "Hey, Mikasa!".

In the sound of their shoes on the floor, his voice was almost entirely swallowed, but she still heard him.

"Yes?". She turned around to face Eren's friend she had known since kindergarten.

"What do you think about him? About Levi?", he asked.

Mikasa raised an eyebrow. "What am i supposed to think? New guy. Shortie. Captain".

"You got nerves", the man found. "Haven't you heard? That he was a soldier in the great war of mars?".

The black haired woman did not seem impressed. "That's gotta be some sort of rumor you believed".

Why would a veteran from mars decide to join a mission like this if there was a luxurious alternative waiting for him back home?

Jean opened his mouth to answer, when they reached the door to the changing rooms and he kept quiet instead.

"You have eight minutes to get changed and start the simulation. Otherwise, the others won't wait for you. Our meeting point is wing number three", Levi commanded and the group split up. While Mikasa and Sasha went through a door further on the left, the others took the entrance right in front of them.

The changing rooms were cold and had no windows which gave Mikasa bunker vibes everytime she thought about them. The only mobiliar were a metal bench breaching out of the wall on the one side and five human-sized lockers on the other side, everything in the same light grey color.

Other than the cafeteria and suites, the lockers were exactly right for the five women on the ship, not counting Hanji who preferred to use the gender neutral cabin.

As the Phoenix had originally been a passenger ship, the changing and simulation rooms had been built by the NSAP after they bought it. There was no more space than needed for this mission that had already swallowed so much money.

The owner's name was written in small black letters above the lock, that worked like a scanner.

Mikasa and Sasha scanned their chip bracelets they also used for the dispenser in the cafeteria and opened them, finding a new set of simulation gear in their right size. It consisted of a long silver-shining overall that started from their feet and ended in gloves on their hands and directly under their chins and looked like a second skin made of quick silver.

The suit was very light but would also keep their body temperature constant and could even protect them from poisonous substances-which was not necessary, except for emergencies-though it took a while to get it onto their naked skin and every suit was only used once which made them highly expensive.

"God i hate these things", Sasha moaned when she started pulling the rubber-like fabric over her shoulders, while Mikasa was already standing at the door to the next room, waiting for her.

After Sasha had finally pulled the long zipper up her back, they entered the simulation room.

Every crew member had his own cabin in the room-a two meters big capsule whose shape reminded a little bit of a japanese rice ball or a buoy.

To enter it, the women had to use their chips once more and after the doors opened, they entered a small seemingly empty room. 

The doors closed automatically behind them and Mikasa heard Sasha say: "See ya", before she stood in darkness.

After a few seconds, a headlamp turned on and Mikasa saw how the walls around her started  
moving. 

Along with a humming sound, thin pieces of metal started coming off the walls and closing up to her, moving on robot-like arms.

Like a cookie mold, they closed around her body, fitting her conture perfectly-it had been specialized on her, during the preparation in the NSAP center.

Out of the blue, Mikasa felt two tentacles snake over her shoulder, twining around her scalp and fix themselves on her temples, letting an electric vibration run over her and burning themselves under her skin with a short but strong sting.

Then, all of a sudden, Mikasas sight went black and she fell into an endless blue.

 

\---

 

"Food". "What?". "I'm hungry".

Mikasa turned to Sasha who was standing on her suit to avoid touching the cold ground with her bare feet.

"There is no food here", the astronaut reminded her friend. 

"I know. But i'm still hungry. I have a strong apetite on... pizza".

It was in fact long ago that they had eaten pizza. Fast and finger food were not being served on The Phoenix and now that the journey had already lastet a few months, Mikasa almost forgot how fremch fries tastet.

"I guess you'll have to wait until lunch".

Instead of an answer, Mikasa heard Sasha's stomach rumble loudly.

"Er... maybe Levi lets you eat something from the bar... like.. crisps or something".

Even while saying that, Mikasa already denied that this would be possible while on duty.

"I don't think he will allow it. He is so strict, after all".

Strict? Sasha's tone made it sound like she wanted to say "scary".

"Well, lunch's soon, so heads up, i guess".

They left the room, only to directly run into Levi. He had changed and leaned at the wall in between the changing room doors, waiting for the others to get ready.

"Ah, Braus. You did some good work on the right wing. And Ackerman, you are one of the best people when it comes to using the simulation. Not everyone is controlling his avatar as good".  
The captain spoke this compliment as if he had just noticed that there was a small hole in his teacup. 

"Thank you", the others answered. "Of course...". he added. "... a simulation is not exactly comparable to an actual situation. I'll just asume that your skill is as showing in real life action as it does in practice".

"You can trust in that", Mikasa said straightforward and she noticed how Sasha to her side started cringing visibly-at least she clenched her jaw.

Levi did not show any reaction except a slight nod. "I'm looking forward to how you'll do, then".

O, she sure hoped he did. She would do great.

What was Sasha thinking to mime the modest submissive? It was not like she had just started her apprenticeship and forst impressions mattered a lot when it came to subordinates.

Also, Mikasa had the strange feeling that Levi really ment what he said and definitely wanted to challenge the new Captain who she was sure she would be able to beat-in training as well as in reality.

Interrupting her thoughts, the door to the men's room opened and Jean, quickly followed by Armin, came outside.

"Good. We will go to the cafeteria now. After that you'll have a short break of fourty minutes", Levi said. "Rest up and... shower".

When they started walking, Mikasa noticed how Jean sniffed his shirt.

Sasha walked up next to her and made a few triumphant dance moves.

"We're-getting-lunch-early!", she whispered and the astronaut could not help but smile.

 

\---

 

Mikasa opened the door to her suite and let out a sigh as she fell onto the bed.

It had been a busy morning. Although she always tried her best to hide it, being in the similator for too long caused headaches and blurry vision. And the entire evacuation process had taken four hours and forty minutes.

Now that she was on her own, Mikasa wondered how she had kept all this food with her during lunch.

Thankful for the break Erwin had organized, she went to the bathroom and leaned over the sink, staring at her reflection in the big mirror. 

She did not look too bad. No dark shadows around the eyes, her hair not as shaggy as she had expected when she got out of her cabin, dazed and sleepy.

It was actually not a bad idea to take a shower right now.

Throwing her clothes against her reflections face, she turned on the water, when suddenly a sound came through the bathroom door.

At first, she could not tell what it was, but then she recognized the ring tone of her tablet.

She rushed out of the shower and grabbed a fresh nightgown out of her cupboard-that still stood wide open from Sasha's rescue mission this morning-and quickly pulled it over before she picked up her tablet and sat down on the bed.

There was an incoming call from Eren.

He never called at this hour and of course, he did not know if Mikasa was free at the moment. Still, it was him.

Mikasa picked up. The screen faded into black for a moment, only to unravel her brother's face.

He looked horrible.

"Eren? Why are you calling?".

"I..". Eren looked up as if he had already given up calling her and had not expected to still reach her.

His face was pale and his eyes had deep shadows under them. When he lifted his hand to greet her, she noticed how shaky it was. 

"Are you alright?". "Of course i am".

He was not right. Mikasa could tell that from tenthousands of kilometers away.

"Drink something or call the nurse-". "I wanted to tell you something. You and Armin... please, get Armin..".

His breathing was heavy and he looked tired. 

"Eren, i swear to god, i'm gonna scream for a doctor myself if you don't turn this shit off and-".

"Get Armin for me, please!".

Suddenly his voice softened up again. "Please...".

And then she knew what was wrong with him.

His injection was gone and the oxygen hoses that usually hung from his nose were missing-no, were lying on the small table next to his bed.

"Eren, stop this right now!!".

"Listen. You are really the best sister i could ever imagine..".

"FUCK YOURSELF AND CALL THE DAMN DOCTOR", Mikasa shouted, interrupting what she supposed where the last words Eren had planned to say in this world.

"Why... why do you have to..always go away from us-".

Why today? He had been so happy, he had been smiling and laughing with her just yesterday! He could not... he was bluffing. He had to be. 

"This is not fucking funny", she said, after a small pause.

"I'm not joking".

"Of course. You should not be.. o, just put that damn hose back on!".

Before Eren could respond, the door next to him flew open and a nurse came in.

Her voice was surprisingly calm  
when she said: "I heard shouting. Is everything okay?".

"Yes, we are just-".

"Jesus Christ, you are pulling this again, aren't you".

Again? What... what was happening?

The tall woman crossed the room with a few big steps and grabbed the oxygen equipment from next to the bed.

"No, I..! Please just leave me be!".

Reminded of the horrible dream she had the night before, Mikasa felt tears running down her cheeks.

"Eren, calm down, you need help!".

Before she finished, Eren's computer fell off his lap, to the ground. The screen blacked out and the voices became silent.

And the line was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´m kinda having a stressful time at the moment, but the next update should follow soon.


End file.
